Practical Ways To Stop Kids Constantly Asking For Toys
There probably aren’t many more situations that strike fear into the heart of a parent than taking unruly toddlers shopping. Even older children constantly asking for things can be a hassle when trying to concentrate and get in and out as fast as possible.
Of course, the obvious answer is to just not take them. In a perfect world this might be possible, but for most of us we are going to have to take the kids shopping many times.
Asking for toys is common, and the one we will discuss today. Refusal can bring on some unwanted behavior. It seems so easy to just give in, but when the toys are mounting up forgotten, or the purse strings just will not stretch that far, just how do we deal with it and teach children that a toy every time is just not appropriate?
Marketing
First of all give yourself a break. It isn’t bad parenting to have your child constantly ask or even demand things from you at the store. Companies spend billions of dollars a year targeting children in marketing tricks to get them to annoy you enough to buy them. Displays are set up to encourage the attention of kids. Colours and sounds are used to attract them as well.
Sounds almost impossible to avoid doesn’t it? It may be, but you can help your children to choose the right behavior and to understand that a trip to the shops does not mean something for them every time.
Start Early and Change Your Habits
For those of us who have toddlers this is the perfect time to start good habits. Here are some of the things you can do to not set up bad habits or encourage this behavior without realizing it:
- Don’t buy your child a toy every time you go shopping with or without them – when kids are small it is so easy to pop that cute little something in the trolley for them. Seeing our kids smile and be happy and satisfied is a basal instinct for a parent, and quite addictive. Limit toy buying and sometimes replace with a healthy food. There is nothing wrong with buying them nothing at all the majority of times you go out with or without them.
- Don’t reward them with toys each time they do the right thing – even though a well placed bribe can work wonders in many instances, buying toys for every good behavior is not a good habit to set up. Kids can come to expect a toy every time they do the right thing.
- Don’t reward them for bad behavior either – by getting them something when they do the wrong thing they will continue to do the wrong thing. If this gets them a toy eventually then they will pull out all the stops. Be consistent in how you treat bad behavior and stick to your guns at home and in public will be less traumatic.Keep them occupied – helping and pleasing you is a great way for kids to learn good habits. They strive for acceptance and to make you happy. Give them some jobs to do if they are old enough. Placing apples in bag, counting out amounts (even with help), and identifying objects helps keep them occupied.
For older children who can understand their behavior and reasoning you also need to be consistent and teach them that although getting toys makes them feel good and validated, being able to buy their own from money they have earned is just as good a feeling.
Set up and earnings scheme at home. Give them set jobs they must do for no money before they qualify to do jobs they get paid for. A chart on the wall can be simple with ticks and crosses for work done. An unpaid job might be clean floor in their room, or putting toys back in their place when finished with them, even children as young as three can do regular, simple tasks and understand the concept. Younger kids can start off with do a simple job and get a couple of dollars at the end of the week.
Add other jobs as their comprehension grows.
Older Kids Job Chart
Older children might have a set of regular chores to do. Clean room, fill wood box, and feed a pet every day. Then have a list of jobs that they can choose to do in their own time for money. These are not compulsory but if they want money to spend they won’t get it any other way.
A job can be ticked off once you have checked it has been completed satisfactorily, and a that tick can be crossed off as punishment should they exhibit unacceptable behavior at any time in the period (for instance if the make a scene over a toy at the shop. Stay calm and simply cross off the tick when you get home. Don’t threaten, just do it, and then calmly explain why).
A week is usually long enough, but fortnightly is fine for older kids too. They get paid at the end of the time period by counting up the amount of jobs they have done with ticks.
Be careful not to pay too much per job at first and the amount you pay should be in line with how hard the task is, perhaps 20c for putting a small bag of rubbish in the wheelie bin and 50c for cleaning the bathroom basin. Tasks can even include outside jobs, $2.00 for every wheelbarrow load of weeds dumped if you are weeding for example.
Make the harder jobs worth more and pay them in a lump sum. Then they can have the choice of spending what they have or holding it over for something bigger. You can even pay half or offer to buy an accessory that goes with the purchase.
Foster That Money Has A Value
By doing this you are showing children that money has a value and to get money you need to work for it for the most part. Without being too strict about it you are fostering a work ethic and patience into your children. Once they learn that they can help themselves get the things they want, life will become a lot more peaceful when shopping.
Let kids have some responsibility for buying toys and you’ll see they do respond and gain a lot of pride in themselves.
